she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
