hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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