lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
