just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
