I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
