thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
