Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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