PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
