Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
