I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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