Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
