Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
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