The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
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He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
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I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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