ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
