My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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