Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
