they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
