I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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