dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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