Please, let me fuck your mom
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
