yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
