Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
