Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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