3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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