Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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