love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
