so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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