And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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