lets start a swedish sibling band together
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
