Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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