Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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