I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
