you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You don't make any sense
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