he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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