I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
pray to the hookup gods
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
