If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
