We won't sleep together?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
