Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
