wake up i wanna do it froggy style
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
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Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You're like the curious george of whores
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
how drunk are you?
Several
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