I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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