Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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