i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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