You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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