We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize