I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
