Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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