She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
