The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
you had me at cake vodka
Every concussion has its silver lining
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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