worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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