We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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