I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
