id be glad to
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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