I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
i think my cat just said my name.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
