You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
