why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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