You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
