i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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