never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
